i walk a lonely road.

2 weeks of confinement finally over! though it wasnt totally a detached relationship with mainland over the past 15 days, since i got to book out for hari raya, report sick for few days and stayed at home but went back prematurely, or be able to come back to mainland to take a photo at cmpb, it was a really bad and torturous feeling to be in there.
the first week could arguably be labelled as the toughest and 'down-nest' time of my life. small intestine infection struck just the night when i booked in and a hopeful image of a beautiful ns life soon corroded till no return. i spent the following day trying my best to vomit out all the shit, join in a water parade and letting the water come all out again, sleep in the bunk so uncomfortably while others had lunch only to be pulled to lunch to join them, follow the platoon everywhere they went while i was so bloody sick. i began to miss the times when mom would attend to me when at this time, i would be lying on bed taking medicine and sleeping so soundly trying to ease the vomitting feel. but no, i faced sergents instead. i faced a whole new world void of the love showered. for the 1st week this dragged on. and it was really unbearable.
2nd week came when i recovered and cookhouse food tasted really good for the first time. my appetite picked up and im eating like no body's business now. Sirs and sergents got angry and pumped us quite afew times in this week, when we really got a taste of their anger. slowly, i began to adapt to the lonely days in ns, without much outside communication. slowly, i began to take pt everyday and every minute to be part of my life. slowly, and unconsciously, i made gd frens around in the bunk. slowly, i began to realise the greatness of my mom, and my family. every night's call back home was no longer a must, but a real urge and obligation for me as a son.
now im out back at home! but things would never be the same again.
army has changed me greatly, but the greatest thing that it has brought to me positively is to tell me how much i love home. i never realised it in nan, when everything was so beautiful, and i thought that i wouldnt ever miss home alot. now i do. i would even cry over thinking about home and mom. it may be silly, but at least i know in time to come, i would be a better man. everything i do in future would be for the 3 people at home. i promise. and i will remember this promise everynite when lying in bed even in camp.
tough times don't last tough men do.
the lonely days will pass! and i will see the light soon, but with a different perspective.
soon. soon.