if i could, we would.

it is scary to live without an aim. i am feeling the effects of this semester that has started even before i laid the foundations to what i would really want to achieve. it sounds corny but no, i have experienced it first time (hopefully not pain enough) to have this inner fear that a lack of drive this semester is going to be costly.
think about it.
i still have the motivation hung over my hall desk that reads "for that that has been given up, i will work 100 times harder." i made sure i lived to my words in the first semester. i did everything i could and momentum saw me through the first half of semester 2 but now it is coming one big round biting me again that where was the resoluteness and the utter bitterness to seek the revenge that i had deep down. maybe the pain has dissipated over time. maybe that there is nothing else to look forward to. i cannot agree more with the quote that goes "in an environment where everyone is better than you, you will only get stronger".
tracking back, i am still looking at the very moment the decision was made. it was carved of a desire to get back what i should have and of cos the love for aeroplanes. i would not have regretted it coming this far looking at the achievements i accomplished in this short 6 months. they are simply tremendous in my own might. a feeling somehow seeps into me now that perhaps i was always looking at that one flower in the garden and ignoring all the beautiful flowers that have evolved elsewhere.
i have become stronger.
sadly,
i could have become even stronger.

may the motivation above my desk give me more than the drive to be Higher Faster Stronger.