seriously, stop. society ought to stop trying to teach the untainted minds to conform to everything that they have nicely set in place. especially so in this absolutely stereotypical and systematic education system in singapore. BREAK OUT.
stop brainwashing me that in my whole life what i got to do after being born is to start looking at lego bricks then train my intelligence by meddling with them and thereafter go through 'brain booster' courses (which i obviously am not a product of, gladly.). then get jailed in the world class education system for donkey years through the incessant indoctrination of the pragmatic and worker-like ideology that you should come out and work, support your parents, join the workforce, carve a wonderful and illustrious career for yourself.
cut the crap. like really cut it. now.
first, i will go into the interview wearing slacks and get the freaking job with my ability and not some fanciful dresscode. i will wear the fanciful dresscode to any ball though, to show that i am more gd looking than any average jobseeker that is so passionate about finding jobs the moment he graduates for a reason he does not know or seek. i am not being haughty here but if the company does not recognise me, i will go for the next and the next. same with my scholarships, i have never given up - one down, there's another. until the day this society accepts me for who i am. i am tired of wearing that mask. worse, that mask is what they want me to wear. what they want.
next. how about this for a change, replying to those emails and telling them straight in the face: keep your jobs to those who are scampering behind my ass. stop bothering me. there are plenty of robots waiting to take up the post, stop spamming me and brainwashing me to join the workforce. join the workforce, join the workforce!!
and if you think that the carrot is motivating me to work hard in my exams, i tell you that you are wrong. it is for the very reason no one thought i could make it early on, no one believed my parents who had the most intellectually demanding job albeit zero recognition could pull off 2 kids with a better than average capability. i tell you they did better than any other CEO of any big company who despite all the society's barometer of intellectual capability never understood how to mould a kid. i am proud to tell you that i am here from scratch and im pleased to be standing here telling you that. and not be hiding behind a stockpile of wealth and relations, in absolutely fantastic mood driving the BMW that i have not even contributed a single cent to.
pardon me tonight. i am not being arrogant nor showy about anything that i have accomplished because i know this war has not ended. but i am not in a serious mood to continue on much further. i am really realising that the harder i work and falling into this vicious cycle that will eventually consume my mental being.
give up.
give up.
there is a new light that has attracted my attention. there is a new dawn to come.
of course, here are some beauuutiful plans.
1. take a 1 year break after my aero degree to travel around the world (i really hope that i would have saved enough to pay off my loan debt by then. with my blood and sweat obviously. or until someone finally realises that i am worth the investment.)
2. plan for masters or see if AStar is still on and get a PHD scholarship to like US! (:
3. improve my photography!!! let me be the best landscape photographer to my friends at least!
4. contribute more to the community and shed some of my heredited money and benefit consciousness
5. be who i really want to be.
of course, 5th point is the hardest and the most desired.
be who i really want to be
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