chasing life

pui pui pui! bloody hell, lost 4-3 today to some physical team in yishun. wtf man, the more dui thing alive is that we were leading 3-0 at halftime. ya, partly my fault, but the entire team were chasing air in the 2nd half, losing stamina, waiting for the balls that never made it pass the midfield. they were well marshalled by the midfield combativeness, playing well to open us up from the flanks and netting 4 goals in a great comeback. i shud haf saved 2 -.- sighs. first half was so impressive a display, but wad happened man! losing like this is so yucks! geez, i think i need to practise more on my shot stopping, i always predict correctly but i just cant seem to get my reflexes in time to save the team, i need to rise to be a better player. cant seem to stomach very well this loss, after travelling down to yishun in the early morning, it was so impossible for us to lose, but we lost everything in the 2nd half. sighs, howfast things change, i must be a better player, i must improve!

ah, nyways, suddenly had some inspiration about life hehe, so shall share it with my readers. have you always tot of having lotsa money, achievements? ok, tell me u haven, cause ur a normal person. so why are u striving to be a cca head, or doing something big in sports or things like that? oh, that's another special reason that doesnt make you haf the 'achievement-grabber' stigma? ok maybe tat's your character, so we shall leave it that way, cause i am a person to believes character doesnt change in a person. many a time we claim to tell ourselves and our frens around how simple we wanna live life, how should your children start their life journey without being pampered, how you will allow the society to spin past you. i made that claim, but now i realise the rule has to bend. we are so badly trapped in society that it inevitably causes us to flow with it, even with us protesting, ignoring its presence. yes, i have told myself many times i will help the poor and the old, i will not seek achievements and allow the pityful guys to chase their life, but im equally guilty of not spending my free time in an old folk's home or donating to a proper charity. mother theresa said charity is what that hurts, but many of us are still mouthing charity without realising it really doesnt hurt us when we do it. we are bloody selfish still, and self centred. there are you normal people out there trying so hard to act sporty, mix around without much EQ with the world out there, assuming the world will accept your change given its initial requirements. ok fine, argue you like sports and you are naturally sociable, but when the smile fades off at night and the pain seeps into your blood will we realise sometimes, maybe we are still followers of sad society life. i know im cynical but that's how i see it :) and it purges me whenever i think about it. i want so badly to change it, i was thinking on the way home today. after pursuing my giantic degree of aerospace engineering, i shall teach for 2 years, making my dream come thru - i have been really hooked onto spreading knowledge since jc time, and im that kind who wud not bother about the pay, just making sure my guys get the results they want is what makes me the happiest person. many will come in at that time to teach me a 'lesson' not to waste my beautiful cert. yes, definitely they will lecture me, telling me how they saw life - saw life thru following society blindly, how ironic - but the bigger question is by then will i waver in that stand? now i really think that the resolute stand has any possibility of breaking down 5 years down the road. i will still remember to see how that day approaches. and i will see what i have said is true. we are still part of society.