spice things up

in an attempt to spice things up in my blog, i'm introducing you some SMU pageant bash featuring professors and their students in lingerie. here.
i know i shudnt be adding to their publicity but hey, this is a way to inprove conditions on my blog! like hey, hot chicks from university and stuff. ok, face it, i being retarded. this is really absurd. like wad's the cause for this explicit show of the arts? arts? charity? wadever. it just makes you wonder what is the mentality the local universities are trying to portray - a pseudo one. we are trying to bring in western culture and booze into the local landscape in a failed attempt. i dont mean we are not party creatures but what's the freaking point of being a party creature only at night or when a mask is placed over your face? and day in day out at your proper position you are leading some children to school or helping out at an old folks home. what puts me off is the dual nature we are trying to achieve. piss off, its not working.

now, down to university stuff, im still hanging on the ropes. the reply from cambridge arrived 2 days back. i was trembling opening the letter saying my last gasp of prayers beneath my breath and when i read it, it was neither gd or bad news. delayed judgement would be the more appropriate term to use, since the university jargons for the application process would be incomprehensible to most. its almost jan mid and i think i should get working to apply to some other scholarships and look at how my options will change in a few months time. if it still doesnt, will i want to go cambridge/imperial/ntu? its still a big big decision that eats me up till today. for most who say money involved shud never be the motivating factor for taking up an overseas scholarship, i think this advice has been turned onto deaf ears for the majority. speaking to many scholars, i wudnt say which department, they have all said that it was a major pulling factor. 'sell your body' if you cant afford to pay yourself to the overseas location for an education of your life. surprisingly, they are all passionate about their job and they have never regretted that decision EVEN if they still want out in the end. sometimes, the climate around you plays a part. if you have been living in a hey-2-stops-to-the-next-destination-just-take-a-bus-cause-very-lazy-to-walk attitude and filled with cash in your pockets making such a rejection would be easy but sometimes not many are in a good situation. not good doesnt mean bad, but just that we understand responsibility. ok, im not trying to be a retard and justify any of my decision, there will eventually be pros and cons about it, and only future can tell if i have made the right decision. i hope you can see which side i am tilting towards now. come afew more months time, this will all be firmed up. firmed up.

i find that there are 2 big big groups of students. the passive ones and the active ones. the passive ones will either turn extremely stupid(please, the word stupid exists in my dictionary only with this defintion: controlled reduced brain acitivity which means its a choice) or extremely stressed because they try to take in too much. the active ones are either actively talking rubbish but still stimulating their brains(and will become effective pursuits of a particular university) or actively try to be too smart. sometimes you gotta gauge your ability and realise if you cannot reach the very top, you just make the cut and focus on something that you like or recreation for that matters. but this particular group are struggling their whole life to reach the impossible. im not saying its a wrong step in life but im a realist and i do just enough, so this group disturbs me. sorry for that.
im still enjoying life in teaching, i find giving knowledge very meaningful and satisfying, which is still good. but ya, im looking at a narrower picture whereas when i do realise being a full time teacher, you have to grapple with your teachings and also other admin stuff to almost a 50-50%. if im going into this path i will never want to stop the student-teacher interactions which i feel is such a learning journey and worthwhile one so the leadership path is not really appealing to me at this point in time. that's for me of course. some classes are good to take cause they talk alot of rubbish, some are boring to the max cause they dont talk, dont ponder, dont do anything, some are stressful but challenging cause they grill you to the max. its all a challenge and i am relishing it. its good.
being in school is good, you get to use the gym, track, hear backstage banter, talk to important people and widen your horizons, interact with students, learn from students..im still trying to push for staying on until end of june/july because i really really do not want to take on some spastic admin job that is of totally no value in life or of any difference with national service.

sighs, these aside. i have quite abit of stuff to sort out again.
1. send my dslr for servicing b4 warrenty runs out
2. light on my watch not working, i need to visit suntec shop
3. look for other scholarships
4. figure out my thailand trip

exciting year ahead!