nothing changes

let me recall a person whom i met a couple of years back in sch. (actually im quite depressed by having to think if i shud be using a couple of years back given it is nearing a decade after secondary school.)

that person was one with charisma and was outrightly more outspoken than most of us neighbourhood kids. well, you cud either attribute our lack of all these ingredients to our dainty age and our background but it was clearly that someone was much better than most of us in terms of everything. well, so the admiration started where we, in the adolescent period seeked an indian chief or rather someone commanding and influential who we could look up to. to me that time, it is clear that there's something really special and excellent about that person that i should perhaps work towards and achieve.

today, i have come across that very same person again. after much ups and downs in his path, he is still as outspoken and charismatic with the way he demands your attention and respect. the way he walks still exudes some aura, not of the elite but of someone you shud pay attention to as some upcoming leader of the unknowing youths. and i look at myself. i dont think i can brand myself a neighbour school dude any further given the exposure to university, albeit questionable to its neighbourhoodness. i dont think i can blame that upon my age that as somehow began to exponentiate in recent years. den i think again.
i guess it was all meant to be. the way we really saw ourselves in the future in our subconscious mind together with our beliefs and construct is probably the really different thing that sets us on different paths. in the decade, while we have pursuit a highly intelligence-spurring path that was meant to develop us into the supposed great leader, what we really turn out to be in the end is no different from the way we started off. of course, you can dispute that change is possible but will the momentum to push for change be really sustained in our conscioud mind, driven by our sub-conscious mind and our already cast constructs? i think in the end the body will be too drained to sustain the efforts required to bring about that change and in the end,..
i am still a happy person playing second fiddle in the attention seeking world and in this working world who demands the best out of individuals not because i dislike it but subconsciously i am aware of the pace i am setting for myself, not to over or underachieve by the benchmark. and i will always be looking up to those people who are endowed with that special ability that keeps their charisma and aura ever shining with little or no effort to upkeep it.
i am still yong chuen in this 21 years.
live on.