the meaning of growing up

when you let go, you grow up.
i was on the train from Hatyai, Thailand to KL, Malaysia for some 15 odd hours since 345pm yesterday till around 8am today. i just realised im just short of travelling by a ship to be able to say i really travelled by land, air and sea. its amazing, every journey, whether is it on the train, road, or plane. it just fascinates me about the way life has progressed, about how we are able to zip thru millions of miles just by what we grasp so tightly to - technology. simply stunning.
well, i was reading jodi picoult's sister's keeper on the ardous journey to kuala lumpur, luckily i brought it along or i wud have absolutely nothing left to do on the train.
have you ever wondered why babies are made, rather than how they are made?
i haven, but i was just made to think about it all on the train journey.
i think i was brought to this world just to make a complete family, while i know why my sister was made though. i cud still remember it so vividly, haha, no, not what you are thinking. i cud remember when i told my mom in a shopping centre that im very bored without someone to play with, so she asked me if i wanted a sibling: i said yes. and the next moment flashed by, i had a sister.
and so, we grew up together in a no-frills environment. we began to realise the need to be mature and help out with the family. but we soon realised that our parents, being parents, and more importantly - singaporeans, will, and may never give up their selfless love and concern over us. they see both of us as precious darlings, and will do anything for us (even though i think my parents are more biased towards me, though very slightly only). even for this trip, i had to be in constant contact with home over the, well, wonderful wonderful internet, or home wud be worried indefinitely. my sis has to seek permission even to go to her fren's house from my dad - he guards over her tightly, like a guardian angel. while a travel abroad may almost be a nono.
and so, we think we mature with time and education.
i wanted to take the bus to the airport in bangkok, as it was so expensive on taxi. but in the end, a persistent taxi driver on the road managed to persuade me to give his taxi a try. he was good in english, conversing with us thruout the journey. he was the first person i met who showed his disdain for the military coup, and about the sluggish thai economy. then, he popped a question on how much an airticket roughly costs. after doing maths, we told him its around 10000 baht. he was lost for words. what he sees in tourists is now that every tourist arrival costs almost as much as what he earns in a month, sturggling to make ends meet. he has a big family. what's more, he was even more shocked that we would afford it, when we are not much older than his kids at home. i cudnt speak much more to talk about his struggle. but i had an impulse, an impulse to tell him about my dad's struggle. my dad was no different from him in occupation, just that they did it in different countries. yes. when we reached the airport, he even came down to help us with our luggage and insisted we checked the boot that there is nohting left behind. den, repeatedly telling us gdbye and thank you, i said that too, hopefully with much more sincerity than his. leaving, i gave him a pat on his back, thinking about how my dad looked at me from the back of his seat the day i left for thailand for 19 days at changi airport. it was reminiscent, and i saw dejavu.
i had a chanced meeting with this lovely mid-50s lady at hatyai. she was a hawker selling pork rice(i simply love thailand's pork rice) at a shophouse near the train station. i knew she spoke chinese, but we did not really talk much when we were eating in the eatery. howwever, when we were about to leave, she came over and chatted with us with such friendliness. upon realising we were going to KL, and our hands filled with bags and stuff, she immediately went to the back of the shop to get some big plastic bags for us to consolidate our stuff. and she even went to the extent of helping us pack them and secure them. she den told us where was the supermarket, before bidding gdbye. that gdbye form me was equally sincere as the one i gave to the taxi driver. it was so nice to meet a chinese so far away from home, and being showered wit love and care.
i had another opportunity to meet with 4 europeans backpacking in asia on the same train from hatyai to kl. they were fabulous people, but no, i did not get to converse with them, just eavesdropping their conversation ahah. they were 2 couples who met each other by chance on the train, side by side in seats. one came form finland, one came from austria. its such fascination about globalisation and travel that brings people together even miles away from home. one couple was planning to be away from home for 10 months, starting from september this year. they alr went to africa and now asia, from the north all the way down to south - msia and singapore. i was so impressed with that, even more so that they were not much older than i am too. their boldness, their maturity, their fundamentals of life. i cannot imagine how their home wud be thinking about them, about their whereabouts millions of km away. i wud imagine about how worried my parents wud be if i were in their shoes. i think.
i had an equally good meeting with this chinese malaysian lady who is a primary school teacher. she was extremely helpful and kind, though i was apparently apprehensive when i saw her in the train with us, such that i kinda ingnored her for the initial part of the journey, until i needed some help with malay words on the toilet door. then, she began to chat with us and even told us we cud get down to buy food at the stop before buttersworth, since the train will travel to buttersworth before making a u-turn to the same station some 1hr later. we got down and ate at a coffeeshop nearby the area. she did not think twice and gave us a treat to drinks, it touched me. she den was so surprised about us being only 19years old and embarking on a 3 country travel - she was 25. i began to realise that perhaps, in an asian context, i am similar to that of the europeans' missions - backpack. i began to think again about home, and how they worry. back in the train, we did not talk much anymore as it was quite bedtime until this morning when she briefly told us about the way to KLCC. she hurried off the train before we alighted, so that was our brief meeting. and i will not forget it.
tony parsons wrote you can just grow up in a day in his book - stories we could tell. i dun think one can grow up in a day. its a culmination of experiences, lessons learnt not from school, work, play, home or even travel - the travel of luxury. i am glad to haf this opportunity to travel so extensively this time round, it was definitely a different experience rather than zipping straight to a place on plane and stuff. i think its when you learn to experience that you learn to mature. its still a long way from giving up the life i have in singapore, even more so with the whirlpool of society sucking you in every minute you move towards adulthood, but at least i gave it a thought. haf you, after reading this entry, started to think about experiencing what i haf experienced slightly? haf you wondered why are you living life? perhaps you haf better ideas about living life, its perfectly fine. maybe at the end of our individual journies we cud sit down and tell our stories, seeing how contrasting we walked our marathon. the finish line is all that matters. do we haf a pact to do that at the finish line? i will, and i hope to fulfill that promise to everyone.
and to all parents, i doubt any parent ever reads this blog: when you learn to let go, your child learns to mature. cherish tat.