life is never fair

i use to tell my frens from long time ago with this phrase "if life is ever fair, u wunt be born". hmms.

i think in life, what i shud do is to allow e world to spin by me. its taking its toll on me to be wanting to follow the flow of everything, being encapsulated momentarily by the beautiful material gains in life. i haf always mentioned to ppl close to me how impt it is to give up and lead a simple life. we always agreed, but haf we ever followed suit?
life is never fair! the moment the bell rang in jc, your 'frens' scatter home with almost utmost urgency to avoid some incoming calamity, so happens in ns. and so, you are left there to settle the remaining stuff that needs to be settled alone, or with afew others. you remind yourself never to complain, but its innate in us to whine or feel down about it. but its ok, it wud be a real satisfying experience to be the one staying behind and doing stuff with the true frens, afterall in life, i think at the end of e day if i can tell myself i experienced life in the way i wanted, i am successful. perhaps its in me to get my job done the way i want it, to work without ppl looking at me, working behind the scenes, but others prefer to do the job in front of many pairs of eyes, and slithering into the dark after the eyes are gone. im perfectly fine with not being given recognition while others get it, wells, learning to live with the working world and not getting frustrated with it is the one impt i think i haf to live to uphold. and im proud of it!
also, the material pursuit is just another case of the rich getting richer. hmms, i know many of us yearn for cars, bigger cars, houses, better houses, branded goods, etc and its perfectly fine i must agree.. what's hurting is that if life is based upon that, working 30 years to earn some bungalow for a family of 4 of sth, its really saddening. i have tot much about it over the many mrt trips home this week, even talking to my fren about it on the way home yest, i still think its more of giving back to the society that will emanate from myself. i know, being the brunt of being in the top academic ladder, that many a time its frustrating to watch scholarships after scholarships being awarded to people who can afford the damn education but to want to keep aside their existing cash for some material gain and cut short of a poor man's chance to send his child to higher education. yes yes, talk greatly about what bursuries, financial grants for the poor, but its all bull shit, to hell with meritocracy in my dictionary. how can someone with so much problems at home do as well as some elitist who gets a car or sth for every exam well performed? never talk meritocracy to me. i tot of coming up with a small scholarship for secondary/jc students, maybe annually about 5k for students who meet my own requirements for the money, when im working in future. it wud not be dependent on some loser interview or shit, how can u expect a coffeeshop boy to articulate his urge to study with the money as compared to a doctor's son. this is indeed, truely what our society has never come to terms with, and its absolutely saddening for me. the rich gets richer, the poor gets poorer.
as for me, i think i wud be contented watching ppl around me get their material gains in future. i wud be deeply involved in projects to give back to the society, get maybe a really simple 2nd hand car or maybe none, someone who truely believes in this as much as im concerned. go ahead to try jobs of different kinds, instead of getting a career that will sap 40 years of your experience on earth. its high time i tried out being a bus captain, a pilot, a train operator, a journalist, an animator, an accountant, a construction worker, etc. i know its unbelievable but if i really get to try them out, plus all those pervious things i mentioned, that's enough for me to tell myself at the end of the day, its a life well lived,
kudos.
and then i bid goodbye to this yet beautiful world.


anyways, camp was really busy this week, scurrying to and fro to pack stores for the upcoming exercise, which i hope i will survive haha, its the first time we actually set out for an exercise with the unit, many things to learn and pick up along the way, scoldings too, to endure. rehearsals after rehearsals for change in command for our unit is also sapping enough energy from all of us in camp. to top that all up, we even had a live firing of gpmg this week. next week's not going to be any kinder to us with the exercise full fledge and the actual parade, plus the upcoming marksmanship range the following week. i had a bloody gd rest last night, sleeping full 12hours haha, im so proud of myself. good, well needed rest. oh ya, i just remembered i still have the COC video to improve upon, sighs.
oh, on the way back, i was spotted at boonlay by my fren haha. stupid, she was coming down from e escalator while i was going up with my fren, finally going home after a long day in camp on a friday. i din really look around this time, so only she saw me, such a coincidence. called me when i was in the train, only for me to realise that i brushed past her without realising haha. blur me.
flags of our fathers, saw3 have hit cinemas this week, and they are must watch movies! still finding chances to get my eyes on those 2 magnificent movies, hope to catch them on screens b4 fading out into the dvd categories.
there's no soccer this week, prolly helping me with the busy week ahead, going to meet the guys down at douby ghaut later for some movie i believe, still aint told what it is, shall keep my eyes open for the time being.