the organisation that doesnt care

the army is supposed to be the place most of the males in my country spend 2 years in, understanding hardship, building camaraderie and learning how to defend their family members from the aggressors. but some do not make it out along the way. tragically the impact is even greater since a great fren was lost a few days back due to an unexpected incident where most naturally, the pilots who chose death became heroes and the storemen who perished remained storemen to many others. its a pity, a beautiful life ahead, a wonderful tale of hopes pinned onto his shoulders from his family all disintegrating into thin air after one freak accident. its simply unimaginable, unimaginable.
perhaps its only after such things happen that we realise the fragility of life and how easily robbed away we are from our closed ones.

when you work with a bunch of motivated people, life is easy. when you work with a bunch of the least motivated sloths, your leadership is tested to its maximum. this is the balance many brains in this organisation lack understanding of. they look at the least motivated people, the NSFs, to do most of the laundry work for them assuming their allegiance is that compared to the regulars. out of good will, helping them to do some stuff, they assume you are immediately bonded to their laws and regulations and hound you for work as if you have a ranking system to evaluate urself. when things are done too slow, they whip your ass piling pressure so that you will get things moving. when things are not done their way, they insist in their ideas and force even the most creative artists to flee the scene. i dont understand why must a retarded slide with "Opening address by ...." be accompanied by his video of a speech and most surprisingly even accepting his obituary photo as a plausible substitute. i think gone are the days leaders value his men for their most unnatural sense of support and ideology. if im supposed to say that's it im out of this shit i agreed to help, the axe would most willingly fall on me to be the culprit causing the failure of the 'mission' when in fact i just hoped to make things better with what i can offer. note, its a big 'can offer' because by no means i am required to do extra work for this shit when im still required to go down the bloody field and act as a soldier for some exercise to be criticized upon. when you are doing fine, there's never a word of encouragement along from the eventual person who actually gets the credit for getting such things done. its high time they realised that nsfs are not around for their call and even if we out of kindness hope to help, there's a threshold to this warm gesture.
there's something really wrong with the leaders im meeting these days. they dont really give a sense of freedom and take ownership over their powers. the whole day they will tell you to put urself in their shoes when themselves in your shoes would be any other nsf wanting to be spending the wonderful day at home basking in the warm sunlight seeping through the curtains of the icy cold room. cool right. then the next thing they keep brainwashing you is that it is for your own good, getting the gold for ippt, doing this well, doing that for them, helping them out when in actual fact the cycle just goes one big round to be added to their scoresheet. bullshit. the next thing they do to squelch your personal grievances is to set up some mini talk cock session to happily eat into their work time and most 'uncoincidentally' your rest time only to 'help you realise the bigger picture you are in'. then he will make some promises and there you go happily for the next month, and he survives. all around you will then tell you to do something before you end up carrying sandbags for breakfast in some forsaken place, ending all hopes of a tertiary education. but then again, the surroundings will whisper to you that you are not supposed to skip hierarchy to report any problems you have simply because of the severity which will follow. then who are we supposed to look to? to the Straits Times? im not grumbling because i dislike army, im beginning to realise that it is almost the same modus operandi from any other organisations apart from the regimentation but i have absolute disgust with the officers who make it through the system. with all due respect because of seniority due to AGE im supposed to address them sirs and mdms but comparing work capability, it just makes me lament that i shud haf forced my way into ocs because i dont see myself lousier than them in any single way. no way.

im personally still pleased with how this year has worked out, sth that i stress quite often alr. i have paid most of my dues with the work i have done for my national service span, got moving with my driving lessons and most importantly and recently, the cip project to cambodia is shaping up most pleasantly. all's well!