when a person is cornered, even the meekest fights back.

and he will fight with no mercy

there's a certain melancholy seeping thru my mind right now despite a terrible itch raging across my skin so peppered with tiny tiny lumps - the battle scars left behind by mosquitoes.
i finally understood what ringing silence is due to. it is brought about by the uncanny fear and dreadfulness of a certain thing about to happen. we were all talking about going outfield to be sian, to be a really bad experience in the next few days, but when all of us were finally snugged in a chugging truck racing down the expressway to send us down to the outfield site, we were unusually quiet. we were extremely quiet. in the wee hours of the night, we just sat, lie back, looked at each other and the view that constantly pulled away from us as we proceeded. except - no exchange was made. it summed up the darkest feelings of everyone, nsfs and regulars equal that we dread. we dread.
sometimes we really do wonder why are we sent to the warfront to suffer. we do question that, even the best soldiers, when we are sweating in the pouring thunderstorm at 3am trying to get our stuff done. soaked from head to toe, and the abrasions starting to creep in, we den slowly try to drift to sleep after a night of insane activity not realising what will hit us next. hordes of mosquitoes soon rampage the area we are resting making the sleep for the next day even more miserable. when we do finally battle the mosquitoes and be at ease with the wounds left behind, we get to drift to the deepest sleep to be awoken by the first light of the next day not too long later. and so we dissolve ourselves in our misery. so we think.

i came back on thursday afternoon and returned home in the evening pretending to be another normal person smack on the road. no one would have realised what i had done the past 4 days in a place surrounded by greenery and disgusting mud. its amazing at how im supposed to fit back into the society. its amazing how almost every singaporean male out there are doing the same. i was a happy man on thursday thous. a simple write in and i managed to get my scholarship changed from physics/chem to maths/physics. makes things much much easier for me and that its so much more yongchuen-ish than chemistry is to me. fantastic, its really working out, it really is.

today is even nicer as i got to watch A div soccer at jjc. it was a stalemate between rj and nj. the feeling of kicking the ball right in a tournament still lingers with me and the regret of not being able to play in the A Div during my time really consumes me. while its heartening to see the younger generation with such zest and vigour running and running with so much passion, its even more painful that i gave up that very chance. i have never forgiven myself for that until this very day. i have never erased that would-have scenarios if i took back wad i said to the soccer coach that very day.
headed down to marvelous marina bay grandstand for the ndp 07. really beautiful place to end the day. here are some pics with it, enjoy for the day! ;)
marina bay pictures