a life reborn

do you show that you are responsible and hence you are given responsibility or you are responsible cause u haf a responsibility? have you ever questioned yourself?

a life reborn. perhaps the rain today just served to accentuate but believe me the feeling was so strong. there were many things new to me today, this very day i am leaving camp for home.
first, my life is changed when i got the MOE's offer for a UK scholarship tied to physics and chemistry as my field of discipline. like wad my teacher says, its a healthy dilemma. i wud say, it is more than a dilemma, its sth of a moral obligation argument, for those who you get it maybe u appreciate this idea more than anyone else.
second, its wonderful to haf the A level results released today. although it wasnt anywhere my time to collect the results, the fact that many of my close frens are taking it makes it a kinda refreshing feeling. all the way from 3pm i started collecting sms-es of dreams come thru, of unsatisfied individuals, of people who broke everything on this very day. i must admit it was more of gd news for me for many of those i know gotten really admirable results to speak about and perhaps that's all that matters for 2 years of hard work. i taught 4 students over the last year period for chemistry and maths. i got 2 pieces of gd news early and its beyond description how it feels like to be the person who made it happen for these people, to be thanked so genuinely for the miracle that you created. before the As the guys were looking at 20 odd/100 for chemistry, but today they are so pleased with the C that they really worked hard for. i am proud but i am even more reminded of the statement that the dunman high principal told me in the meetup seession on monday: miracles happen and make you feel great, but they do not happen everytime. of cos, i have my own taste of that statement when i really disagreed with him tat day. the other 2 got sth much lower than their and my expectations for maths. it was a piece of news that came late, but was expected. it made me think the way home what it really takes to be a teacher.. am i going to give up just because of that? or was i competent enough to create miracles for people and tat's the end of the beautiful story?
third, it's a really nice feel to be back in your alma mater. what's more intriguing was that i met kianhong in the sch. i guess its the same for all of us where-ever we are, tat we do feel something for things that changed our lives and maybe, just maybe, the teachers in that very school would have been touched and satisfied to know that they are not forgotten. though i was kinda late to join in the celebrations in school for the release of A level results, it was good to be back to listen to someone whom really changed ur life with the statement - "try la, you never know. dont be lazy." it was something simple from a teacher, but it wwas something more powerful to me, something that made me believe in myself. and tat's how it made me feel reborn this very day.
finally, things are getting moving the plans i haf for the period after ORD and my spare time now until then. have gotten into the mood of finding animation/media design courses to attend and enrich myself, have confirmed with my pal that we are definitely going on a 2 months asia backpacking come what may, have finally searched for a watch to buy, have finally started on sourcing an overseas project on volunteer tourism. it feels really refreshing when these things are lined up and you are no longer bounded by the fact that you are in ns or that you are still harping on the fact that you are a 4As student and tat's when you are on the top of the world without doing anything. i guess people seek rejuvenation and rebirth right after ORD but to me, it probably has came months earlier and what im experiencing is something much much better than that of ORD. this is what makes life meaningful and hopeful.