the meaning of being a leader.

你那么爱她
为什么不把她留下
为什么不说心里话
你深爱她
这是每个人都知道啊
你那么爱她
为什么不把她留下
是不是你有深爱的两个她
所以你不想再让自己无法自拔

been thinking of quite alot of things today, i mean saturday, after a day back in camp. bad day for everyone i guess, got fucked inside out by our PS, OC and stuff. i mean, what's the difference with that and any other normal day of work. true, the unit is getting abit too bad a place to be in, not for the idea of people around doing their stuff but because when the top guy flexes his muscles, the rest will suffer. tot about how my frens are coping with life in this unit, looks pretty bad though. i must admit that for me, its still a simple outcome - im here to serve, and to take away something, be it tolerance or acceptance of a sad life which i cannot come to terms with. it doesnt make sense for me to be unhappy day in and day out, yearning for home every other day; man, this is life. i will just do wad i can, and see how it goes. most of my frens are going to burst out soon thoughs. hope to see sth getting better - i mean i dun mind being a clown to get people laughing around in camp since its much better to get everyone up than everyone to one by one give up and fall deeper into the abyss of detest.
there were many other things to think about on the way home too.
i tot of 14 feb when i saw my watch and realised its already 10 feb. ok, already is an inappropriate word for me to use here, since the day holds little significance, except to remember that apart from a girlfren, there are still loved ones around worth cherishing. looks like its another year by myself, and this time, even more boring and sucky, to be spending it in camp. live on man, for those spending this very special day, cherish the person you haf!
i saw someone who looked damn familiar today. she just looked at me once and walked past me. i cudnt remember her but found her some sort of familiar somehow. until after awhile, did my rusty brain realise she's the child i used to see in my fren's house - his sister. melissa's her name. beautiful young adult now. something wrenched my heart at that moment, the rate at how time flies is beyond capacity to grapple. though i am still ruminating the time of ORD, in a blink, it wud be coming soon. no sooner will i haf to face the harshness of the working world, the torment of managing real money and assets in future.

most importantly, thruout the journey i tot about the meaning of being a leader. the way in which i tot a leader should be.
a great leader differentiates work and fun. he must be able to joke with his people, be a true friend - not some socialiser who sells his smile together with some jugs of beer, and yet be firm at work. yes it may sound cliche but ask yourself, whoever you may be for once you would have led somehow or another, if you actually were able to achieve a sublime blend of these 3 stuff. for me, its simple - away from the serious stuff, we joke, i clown around, i add stupid comments, i be myself - myself. at work, or with serious stuff, i demand myself to deliver and i demand the guys down to be up to it too and i will be firm at getting things done.
a great leader cares for his men. the most frustrating thing is empty promises. face it, everyone can see evaluate the leader if he has helped his men. people are not asking for the leader to dash across a damn bed of needles barefooted, but to be able to put himself in their shoes and fight for something they deserve. its no point doing wadever the upper management passes down which are simply ridiculous or tedious, causing the guys more misery with no return. simple things like this, standing up and say no, your idea is stupid, gives faith to the people and they will appreciate your work, and understand your vision and believe in you.
a great leader never restricts, but instead allow ideas and methods to flourish. its no point saying that my way worked before, therefore you follow it. what people want is to try, to try and succeed with some satisfaction rather than being a passive listener of commands. a leader must never say no to an idea straight down unless its totally ridiculous and impossible. upon most people i have came across, this is the one big thing i feel sorely lacking in most of the leaders. when you fail this aspect, you end up looking more domineering a leader, than someone who gets your people to speak up even in the most silent and awkward situation of difficulty. or well, maybe this is what i think a gd leader must have.
a great leader is positive. i guess its like duh rite? how to be motivating your guys when you are dead sad looking at the possibility of failure as a matter of fact in time to come.
a great leader is one who keeps his team together even if they fail to meet the final objective. its no point finishing at the finish line with people hating you, falling out with you or even a team who is not true to themselves. only when you enjoy the company of everyone, understand the purpose of being together and appreciate each other that is the final objective of life. you can hold appointments of great stature, but if you never had a team who supports you totally as a friend and as a vision leader, it is really sad, really sad. when you meet with failure, its hard to imagine the fall out with your team - the team who 'achieved' results but not the purpose of the word team.
a great leader understands its never about the appointment when you display leadership. even as a worker, coordinating events or stuff and even down to minor work details, the leader in one is working.
a great leader understands himself.
a great leader is a friend. he is more than a friend.
a great leader started off small. yes, he was once small.
being a good leader is tough. being a great leader is almost impossible.
but we all do try in our ways. some succeed while some fail.
some tot they succeeded. just perhaps they tot.
did you succeed?